How to Communicate to a Significant Other the Feeling of Being Hurt

Constructive communication is the foundation on which healthy relationships are built. But it’s never easy to tell a lover that they’re causing pain. Most people tend to get detached or use destructive communication styles to express the fact that they are hurt. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are productive ways in which people can express their negative feelings.

Unhappy couple arguing on the couch

Take Time to Cool Down

When people are carrying uncomfortable feelings, they’re always tempted to blurt something out right after a fight. This approach can only enlarge the rift between lovers. Taking a step back to cool down is an excellent way to avert escalation. It also gives time to people to organize their thoughts and therefore better express themselves about why something upsets them or makes them mad.

younF man using a fan to cool down

Partners Should Warn One Another About Hard Talks

It’s impossible to know what someone’s mindset is before bringing up a particular issue. Maybe they’ve had a bad day at work or are stressed out about an upcoming event. To avoid unnecessary escalation, people should warn their significant others that they want to have a hard conversion with them. Questions such as “Are you ready to talk?” or “Where are you with things?” can set the tone for a civil and meaningful discussion.

A warning sign

Timing Matters, Even When People Are Hurt

Wanting to talk with a partner while they’re busy with work or personal matters will create unnecessary tension, which will certainly compromise the productivity of the discussion. Also, choosing public places to have a serious talk about being hurt can create discomfort, which can backfire. That’s why timing is of paramount importance when it comes to communicating feelings.

Couple Having an Argument

When someone is hurt, they feel the need to express their pain, especially if the discomfort is caused by their significant other. However, there is the right way to do it and the wrong way to do it, and both lead to different consequences. That’s why the right communication style is of pivotal importance.